16.03.20 Pt 2 – Is less consumption possible for human beings? The Spanish flu killed a lot of humans, we’ve been here before. Germany wants to send money for the Covid-19 test to South Africa… send the tests, we’ll never see that money! Bernie thinks Ebola is back, oh dear. Before you worry about toilet paper, we tell you what the dirtiest surfaces are which you should be avoiding.

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16.03.20 Pt 1 – Cyril was late for the biggest pandemic address of the nation in… ever! What does Covid-19 actually mean? What’s the most amount of people you should have at your wedding? If you cough and sneeze , we no longer say “bless you”… we just move away from you and send thoughts and prayers. Serbia has a pretty hectic approach to the rules around corona. George Carlin told us we’d be panic-stricken, but he told us 20 years ago. And what would you take into a covid bunker?

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13.03.20 Pt 2 – The chickens have come home to roost for Harvey Weinstein, prompting him to whinge and moan about his sentencing. Decades later, the Clintons are still talking about the Monica Lewinsky scandal. What is it like to be quarantined because of the coronavirus? Find out as Gina Luzzatto, a listener, calls in from Rome to talk about her isolation.

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13.03.20 Pt 1 – It’s the weekend baby! However, Covid-19 has some nasty outcomes for your toiletry shopping and international travels. When in Rome, you should stay in Rome… Italy is shut down. Trump gives travels from Europe the middle finger, but of course there’s always a loophole in the system. If you were looking forward to the F1 this weekend, rather worry about the Covid-19 takeover. And are UKZN students smart enough – or just a bunch of losers?

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The Covid-19 epidemic is now in South Africa and has spread beyond the “Italy 10”. What does this mean for the health structures that already exist in SA, are we prepared to contain it? OPEC and their indecisive nature means Russia and Saudi Arabia are now the kings of the oil world – if only for a while. The tension between the two nations means oil is cheaper, but will this affect your petrol price? What wage should we pay our MPs in South Africa? The Public Protector can’t protect herself right now, the triad she is a part of might be a house of cards. Brought to you by Nando’s.

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12.03.20 Pt 2 – The NICD is doing great work, let’s not wrap them up in the ANC mess of incompetence. What do governments spend their funds on in general? If you are having any trouble from a report on CNN, take the Donald Trump approach. Measures of austerity at state level sound good because saving your money is good isn’t it… or is it? Oh yes, wash your hands, you dirty pig!

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12.03.20 Pt 1 – Tom Hanks is basically dead, he’s got Covid-19. Saudi Arabia is under internal turmoil, the king is under siege. Vlad Putin is a gentleman, he just has a bad temper. Gareth’s finger is fine, coronavirus has no chance of killing him. If you need advice on how to stay healthy, here it is: Wash your hands you dirty pig! People in relationships probably get the least sex right? What happens if you laugh at Zambia’s president? And don’t hide your kids from your other kids.

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11.03.20 Pt 2 – Should we give our kids better quality poetry to read, or is that what iPads and YouTube are for? Does being nice matter at all? Donald Trump has just crushed the Democrats on Twitter before going to bed. Our loyal listener Vinnie rocked the show, he got a message on Facebook which revealed a secret that was hidden for 15 years. What would you do if you found out you have a twin at 12 years old? Gord did yoga… he didn’t poo. The brilliant Dr Shakira Choonara attempts to educate us, but all that happens is she gets suggestions from morons.

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11.03.20 Pt 1 – Is death your only salvation, or is touching your penis the only nirvana available on Earth? Are there good reasons to change your mind, or should everything be a good idea? What’s the best case scenario once you kick the bucket? Is language yours, or can the kids move it further down the line and use LOL in board meetings in 2035? Tattoos are great, but flesh holes are just too far, aren’t they? Putin and zombies are here to stay past 2024.

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10.03.20 Pt 2 – How do we deal with race relations when things start to get wonky in the workplace? Komodo dragons are doing it for the sisters. If you wear a nose ring, you are letting everyone know that things are never going to get serious. Amanda Bynes assures you she’s fine, she only needs psychiatric help when she chooses it. All stereotypes make it easier for people to get on with life. Also please remember, all reputations are earned. Dr Johnny Keeling, producer of Planet Earth and Blue Planet, joins us to unpack the new masterpiece nature documentary, ‘Seven Worlds, One Planet’.

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