03.04.20 Pt 2 – If you have furry friends, just be aware that vets are part of essential services and pet stores are open. In a time of international lockdown, how on earth do travel companies survive? Keeping clean makes you feel better… do it, stay clean and wash your hands you detty pig! Adversity will reveal the weather of your consciousness and if you are dependent on alcohol or other stimulants or depressants, 21 days of going cold turkey could be rough.

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03.04.20 Pt 1 – Remember when you could touch people, and the days when load shedding was your biggest problem? If you say “Coronavirus”, your video can be demonetised on YouTube. Let’s be honest, amateur singing – especially when you try and syncronise – is a disaster. How tough is it to tell your parents that Covid-19 can kill them and they must stay at home? Some people take cleaning to another level… they’re a threat to us.

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The best way to predict the future is to look at the past. Is there any chance of rebellion from the poor in South Africa if they are forced to comply with lockdown laws? What would this violent outbreak look like? We only have 3 ways of dealing with Covid-19, none are great but we must pick one and move forward… apathy is not a choice. Self-isolation might not be the best way to deal with coronavirus. Does China need to worry about a cold war against them from a technological and production standpoint post Covid-19? Will the rest of the world search for new centres of economic supply chains? Everyone seems to think the IMF is the next point of call for South Africa, just how true is this? Cyril Ramaphosa, the country is watching – your move! Brought to you by Nando’s.

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02.04.20 Pt 2 – South Africa might be a decent country to live in after all, if you go by a queue at a shopping centre. The response to market factors at play in a crisis can be tricky, are street vendors less important than big chain stores? Ford is making ventilators… does this actually matter in the bigger picture? The media has a massive duty in reporting responsible and verified information in times of crisis, how do we ensure this happens? Waldimar Pelser details this for us. The ANC is still stealing, please don’t let Covid-19 plaster over that, stay woke!

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02.04.20 Pt 1 – Should you feel guilty for enjoying the solitude of lockdown? Hey, maybe you don’t need your best friend around every 3 days… don’t tell them though, could be awkward. Honey is good for you, and your skin, nectar of the gods. Madonna in the bath is just brutal viewing. If you are going to murder people, don’t do it during a pandemic at the beach, the cops are watching. Comforts of home can be dangerous, what do you do when it’s time to cook your own 3-course meal? And April Fool’s Day took a back seat this year – there’s a little Coronavirus situation going on.

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Is information overload better or worse than no information at all in a pandemic? What does a doctor do when he’s stuck on the West Coast of America, but he lives on the East Coast? In a bittersweet sequence of events, a new life has joined the Goodman family, while so many are clinging on to theirs. Dr Dennis Goodman (Clinical Professor of Medicine & Director of Integrative Medicine: NYU) unpacks the essence of what we understand about Covid-19 from a medical point of view at this stage. Price gouging with ventilators has reared its ugly head in America, but the US government has come to the rescue. The greatest challenge we now face as humanity is that, to truly comfort those you love, you have to stay away from them. The good doctor urges us to practice humanity… even if it’s just a virtual hug.

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“Perfection is the enemy of the good when it comes to emergency management!” So said Dr Mike Ryan of the World Health Organisation when asked how Covid-19 could be contained. Poignant words indeed especially considering the pandemic which the world is gripped by currently. The Italian Chamber has a bilateral allegiance to both South Africa and Italy, and the latter has been ravaged by Covid-19. Will South Africa learn from Italy’s unfortunate circumstances? If Pamina Bohrer has anything to do with it, both countries can rest assured they have a heroine who will do her utmost to ensure both nations prosper. She speaks about what geo-political and global economic landscapes may look like after Covid-19, where hope has sprung eternal before, and what her role is in liaising on behalf of the land of Picasso in Madiba’s Rainbow Nation.

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01.04.20 Pt 2 – Pamina Bohrer from the Italian Chamber unpacks the organisation’s role in the bilateral relations between South Africa and Italy. Elena Williams is the Tiger Queen as she’s rising to the call to help the needy during lockdown, both in Africa and Europe – while still doing her real job. Timothy Maurice asks whether pornography has any place in the philosophical and evolutionary debate of nature vs nurture… who knew that we’d one day see porn and philosophical enquiry in bed together?

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South Africans aren’t taking Covid-19 seriously enough, and if the current civil disobedience continues, Siv Ngesi believes we will have mass graves or have to burn bodies! Never shy of poking the social bear, this self-professed Adonis lookalike funny man believes any social distancing measures we implement in South Africa cannot mirror those of the first world, as the shoe doesn’t fit in our context and the cost of copy paste policy implementation in this case could be tens of thousands of lives. The expansion of Pornhub to the premium package for free has left many a man with too many choices, or is that a ridiculous statement in these times? There’s a dark all too real Covid-19 fear deep in the heart of the silver screen star though, and it’s haunting and personal.

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01.04.20 Pt 1 – What do most people do with the extra time they have during a pandemic? If you can’t sleep, it’s cool, anxiety is real… don’t feel too bad. Cyril Ramaphoria’s jacket was way too short on the arms, is he lifting heavy or is it just a bad tailor job? Petrol will be dropping during lockdown, but what use is that to us? What profound lessons has Gord learned during the lockdown? Licking trolleys is not cool people, it’s crazy that we have to do a PSA about that!

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