20.08.20 Pt 2 – Alright, let’s get this straight… just be nice and we’ll vote for you. How wild is it that the USA’s potential Vice-President was a weed smoking legal practitioner not so long ago? If you are going to be on an online call… unmute your mic, it’s not hard. If you have a ‘prison beard’ and it ends up on YouTube, we will judge you.

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20.08.20 Pt 1 – If your ex-wife is asking for money and you had a R267 million upgrade on your house, which she lived in, it’s probably a good thing you are divorced. Cardi B and her home boy Joe Biden are about “dat political life ya’ll!” Covid is dead – the Kremlin has solved the mystery.

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19.08.20 Pt 2 – The honest truth is that children are very rarely a good investment if you are looking for any sort of ROI. Who’s the disaster in your family, be honest it’s you isn’t it, yes you in the mirror! If your lady bits have WAP tendencies, what could be causing this… Dr Robyn diagnoses. Ladies, if your baby is big at birth, there’s no shame in letting them out through the ‘sunroof’. We then find out how girls and women can empower themselves, and their own safety with ‘Girls on Fire’.

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The ownership of a lethal weapon is often characterised as ‘men’s territory’… well Lynette Oxley is having none of that. Firearm training of young women is starting around the age of 11 now. The aim isn’t to create gung-ho gunslingers, the reality of the world means the safety of women is in their own hands. ‘Girls on Fire’ is allowing women to have a safety valve – should it ever come to that. Safety first, that’s the motto.

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19.08.20 Pt 1 – If you are a Virgo, are you better at harvesting ‘night energy’ by closing your eyes for 8 hours or so… if only we had five letters to describe that process? Do we need to cater for luddites on Zoom? Tracy Chapman says “forgive me” – I don’t do technology. Don’t tell your parents you have WAP at your house, the meaning’s changed.

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18.08.20 Pt 2 – They’re going woohoo in Wuhan, how do we feel about this? Please don’t shame your work colleagues who have let themselves go in lockdown… rather ring a shame bell – it’s the right level of cruelty without being a monster. The lead singer’s girlfriend is not your friend, write that down. And aligning chakras is not to be taken seriously.

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18.08.20 Pt 1 – Fellow South Africans, not to worry, NDZ didn’t do anything. She was a victim of ‘the machine’, plus she was married to Jacob – so there’s that. Should you be shallow or do people’s personalities mean anything in the year of our lord, Instagram 2020. If you die, do you want a eulogy, or just a quick ice cold goodbye. He lived, he died… the end.

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The pandemic has been brutal for the arts, but Netflix and the digital revolution have allowed actors to continue to thrive, even during the global lockdown. Fulu Mugovhani – star of ‘Seriously Single‘ – divulges the pleasures of working with comedy legend Tumi Morake, and who she uses as a muse for her characters. She’s on screens in 183 countries now, but is her family proud of her? ‘Seriously Single’ is available on Netflix.

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17.08.20 Pt 2 – William and his wife might run out of money soon, how will a poor Prince live? Are pandemics a hotspot for Tinder trolls? Education pays, they say, NSFAS in particular. If you are going to travel, don’t take a boat to Greece, they’re not taking visitors right now.

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17.08.20 Pt 1 – Should we ban the booze benders in South Africa? What do you do if your neighbour’s nipples are on display for all to see, like Grace Kelly in Rear Window? Politicians wouldn’t dick around if they had less room for corruption. Lockdown friends are best if they are rich… and not a serial killer.

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