13.03.20 Pt 1 – It’s the weekend baby! However, Covid-19 has some nasty outcomes for your toiletry shopping and international travels. When in Rome, you should stay in Rome… Italy is shut down. Trump gives travels from Europe the middle finger, but of course there’s always a loophole in the system. If you were looking forward to the F1 this weekend, rather worry about the Covid-19 takeover. And are UKZN students smart enough – or just a bunch of losers?

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12.03.20 Pt 2 – The NICD is doing great work, let’s not wrap them up in the ANC mess of incompetence. What do governments spend their funds on in general? If you are having any trouble from a report on CNN, take the Donald Trump approach. Measures of austerity at state level sound good because saving your money is good isn’t it… or is it? Oh yes, wash your hands, you dirty pig!

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12.03.20 Pt 1 – Tom Hanks is basically dead, he’s got Covid-19. Saudi Arabia is under internal turmoil, the king is under siege. Vlad Putin is a gentleman, he just has a bad temper. Gareth’s finger is fine, coronavirus has no chance of killing him. If you need advice on how to stay healthy, here it is: Wash your hands you dirty pig! People in relationships probably get the least sex right? What happens if you laugh at Zambia’s president? And don’t hide your kids from your other kids.

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11.03.20 Pt 1 – Is death your only salvation, or is touching your penis the only nirvana available on Earth? Are there good reasons to change your mind, or should everything be a good idea? What’s the best case scenario once you kick the bucket? Is language yours, or can the kids move it further down the line and use LOL in board meetings in 2035? Tattoos are great, but flesh holes are just too far, aren’t they? Putin and zombies are here to stay past 2024.

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10.03.20 Pt 1 – If you are going to panic, where are you going to do this panicking? Which businesses will win because of coronavirus? Dubai’s World Show sounds like the best thing in history. If you can expose your kids to the world, do it… they’ll thank you later. If you make a fake bomb threat, we should throw fruit at you in the town square. And Stairway to Heaven might have a devilish act attached to it.

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09.02.20 Pt 2 – Super fan Sara Mwaniki joins us, and she reveals that she is in love with a spandex-loving cyclist. Cyclists are sexy, which is news to most, but love is a good thing no matter the price for the soul. Would you lie about having Covid-19 just for the attention? Trump is trolling us all regarding coronavirus, he knows everything, just ask him. If a billionaire loses billions are they still a loser, and should we pity them? Then Luno Africa GM Marius Reitz joins us in studio to answer your crypto questions on the final episode of Decrypto.

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09.03.20 Pt 1 – When you wake up early, don’t go back to sleep… it’s too risky. Toilet paper is the new platinum standard, in Australia two ladies took it deadly seriously. A news headline to give people – you are not going to die, calm down! Are meetings in South Africa too long? Music festival weekends with mates needs one to be organised, Siya gives us the rundown of how to keep it real to maximise fun. Kim Jong is being a naughty boy again, what do we do now?

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06.03.20 Pt 2 – Vodka is not a hand sanitiser. Toilet paper is like gold at the moment, would you kill for the last roll at a supermarket? Don’t go to Italy, you might never come back. If you live in Modena, champagne may come out of your tap… cheers to that! If somebody tries to kill you, it’s perfectly reasonable to divorce them. South African accents are always a train smash in Hollywood movies – why is Harry Potter trying now? And romance is about looks, that’s all there is to it.

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06.03.20 Pt 1 – The secret in life is not to panic… just run! Should we stay away from everyone in KZN, even if they are our family? Covid-19 is a real thing and it’s in South Africa. The leadership of Singapore has declared there’s nothing to worry about, they’re ready for all outcomes, but it’s business as usual. The new James Bond launch has been postponed, it’s nothing personal, it’s just business. If Siya died, we’d just move on… it wouldn’t be hard. There’s a dead rat in the roof, it’s awful! There’s a guy under the bridge with a girlfriend, so what’s wrong with you?

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The coronavirus epidemic in China has had the world’s attention for over two months now. There has been a litany of information which has led to the dissemination of misinformation around the situation in China from multiple sources worldwide. The Consul General of the People’s Republic of China in Johannesburg, Mr Tang joins us in studio to detail what the Chinese government is planning to do to manage the now officially reported 30,004 cases in Hubei Province. How will China manage the shut down city of Wuhan which has 12 million citizens?

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