15.07.20 Pt 2 – It’s ironic how Alanis conveniently didn’t use words aptly, considering that she was a writer. If you have a big package, rather take it to Pornhub than The New York Times, you’ll get better exposure. Is the ISS just a floating sulphur Dutch Oven? If your mom dropped you as a baby, she shouldn’t expect you to buy her magazines. Hlubi Mboya then joins us to tell us about relate.org.za.
15.07.20 Pt 1 – The way to describe people who report you in lockdown constantly is “Mega Karen!” Just to be clear a sjambok hurts, no matter how fat you are. Alanis Morissette dated Jeff and it didn’t end Gladly. When it comes to size, let’s face it, it’s all about money. Perhaps we should have vibrating ventilators in the strip clubs, as those would combine everything Zweli Mkhize loves.
14.07.20 Pt 2 – A million graves is not realistic dear minister, Standard Grade Maths fail. Siya is a macaroon top, not a muffin top… that matters. Should we convert skinny jeans into millennial corsets and save ourselves the complaining? A smart home is at your fingertips, you just have to know where to look. Maestro, Njabulo Madlala joins us to tell us more about the Voices of South Africa International Opera Singing Competition.
14.07.20 Pt 1 – If your breath smells, use cold water. It’s science from old wives. Is the booze ban a good or a bad thing and is the ‘Thabo Shakes’ a real thing? California’s Covid rate is through the roof, this is not helping operations in general… what about singers and Jared Leto and actors nobody cares about? The Brit Brexit is going to be a bumpy road. Our family, ‘The Mandelas’ have lost imbokodo… R.I.P Zindzi Mandela.
13.07.20 Pt 2 – In the shock horror of all shock horrors, it turns out that a religious institution is at the centre of unspeakable violence and is stealing money from the poor in droves. Lockdown rules took another Cyril infused M. Night Shyamalan like plot twist… turns out it’s safe to fill taxis up but not restaurants. Is our Mol going deaf? And Blind History is making history.
13.07.20 Pt 1 – South African citizens are now dealing with what’s being called ‘Cyril Ramafications’. The undertakers are saying numbers are not up from Covid… calm down people, humans are expiring at the regular rate. Is getting tested for the virus useless? There’s an entanglement at the Smiths, so much so that Pope Gregory XIII dedicated a whole month to it in his calendar.
10.07.20 Pt 2 – Should beauty be beyond skin deep? The key to a stable life is this… you have a thin wife and a fat chef, we all need to know our roles. The bravest man alive is anybody who would father Amy Schumer’s child voluntarily. Put pants on for Zoom calls just to be safe. Waiting in the Wings South Africa is hosting an Open Spaces concert on 2 August to help the arts survive – get tickets and info here.
10.07.20 Pt 1 – “Dear lover… I send you this here letter for your own safety, it’s a French Letter.“ If you see your mom getting romped on her back, what is the logical response? In art, there’s perfection and then there’s Zimmerman. Shame kills the Seoul. It’s always exciting not to die.
Should we be testing everyone for Covid-19? Is there going to be a second wave in Johannesburg and if yes, is this a bad thing? What are the overall effects of the health sector’s response to Covid-19 globally? Could South Africa reopen the economy through track and trace monitoring of citizenry? Has the hubris of liberalism condemned Hong Kong to tyranny from China, and thus made a war between China and America inevitable? Brought to you by Nando’s.
09.07.20 Pt 2 – It’s Juicy, not Jussie. If you can smell a fart through jeans, are you safe from Covid through a mask? A million graves, how long would it take to dig those holes and fill them with bodies? Are South African journalists innumerate? Donald Trump seems to be the last hope in saving us from a war between the West and the East… how should we feel about this?