Old people are displaying some unusual Covid-19 symptoms. Smokers and drinkers have predictably discovered the black market. If you’re reporting your neighbours for having a braai, how resentful are you? It’s a honeymoon from hell, as some South Africans are still stuck in Thailand. Where would you go during the zombie apocalypse? Can Siya survive in the wild? Leigh-Ann sees the future… and it’s bleak. And Boris Johnson owes his life to two Nicks.

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