12.03.20 Pt 2 – The NICD is doing great work, let’s not wrap them up in the ANC mess of incompetence. What do governments spend their funds on in general? If you are having any trouble from a report on CNN, take the Donald Trump approach. Measures of austerity at state level sound good because saving your money is good isn’t it… or is it? Oh yes, wash your hands, you dirty pig!
12.03.20 Pt 1 – Tom Hanks is basically dead, he’s got Covid-19. Saudi Arabia is under internal turmoil, the king is under siege. Vlad Putin is a gentleman, he just has a bad temper. Gareth’s finger is fine, coronavirus has no chance of killing him. If you need advice on how to stay healthy, here it is: Wash your hands you dirty pig! People in relationships probably get the least sex right? What happens if you laugh at Zambia’s president? And don’t hide your kids from your other kids.
11.03.20 Pt 2 – Should we give our kids better quality poetry to read, or is that what iPads and YouTube are for? Does being nice matter at all? Donald Trump has just crushed the Democrats on Twitter before going to bed. Our loyal listener Vinnie rocked the show, he got a message on Facebook which revealed a secret that was hidden for 15 years. What would you do if you found out you have a twin at 12 years old? Gord did yoga… he didn’t poo. The brilliant Dr Shakira Choonara attempts to educate us, but all that happens is she gets suggestions from morons.
11.03.20 Pt 1 – Is death your only salvation, or is touching your penis the only nirvana available on Earth? Are there good reasons to change your mind, or should everything be a good idea? What’s the best case scenario once you kick the bucket? Is language yours, or can the kids move it further down the line and use LOL in board meetings in 2035? Tattoos are great, but flesh holes are just too far, aren’t they? Putin and zombies are here to stay past 2024.
10.03.20 Pt 2 – How do we deal with race relations when things start to get wonky in the workplace? Komodo dragons are doing it for the sisters. If you wear a nose ring, you are letting everyone know that things are never going to get serious. Amanda Bynes assures you she’s fine, she only needs psychiatric help when she chooses it. All stereotypes make it easier for people to get on with life. Also please remember, all reputations are earned. Dr Johnny Keeling, producer of Planet Earth and Blue Planet, joins us to unpack the new masterpiece nature documentary, ‘Seven Worlds, One Planet’.
10.03.20 Pt 1 – If you are going to panic, where are you going to do this panicking? Which businesses will win because of coronavirus? Dubai’s World Show sounds like the best thing in history. If you can expose your kids to the world, do it… they’ll thank you later. If you make a fake bomb threat, we should throw fruit at you in the town square. And Stairway to Heaven might have a devilish act attached to it.
09.02.20 Pt 2 – Super fan Sara Mwaniki joins us, and she reveals that she is in love with a spandex-loving cyclist. Cyclists are sexy, which is news to most, but love is a good thing no matter the price for the soul. Would you lie about having Covid-19 just for the attention? Trump is trolling us all regarding coronavirus, he knows everything, just ask him. If a billionaire loses billions are they still a loser, and should we pity them? Then Luno Africa GM Marius Reitz joins us in studio to answer your crypto questions on the final episode of Decrypto.
09.03.20 Pt 1 – When you wake up early, don’t go back to sleep… it’s too risky. Toilet paper is the new platinum standard, in Australia two ladies took it deadly seriously. A news headline to give people – you are not going to die, calm down! Are meetings in South Africa too long? Music festival weekends with mates needs one to be organised, Siya gives us the rundown of how to keep it real to maximise fun. Kim Jong is being a naughty boy again, what do we do now?
Don’t let the trappings of Twitter, ‘fake news’, or being stuck in traffic every day fool you… there’s been no better time to be alive than right now – as the Editor of HumanProgress.org, Marian Tupy and his team believe, and prove this through their website that shows how the state of humanity has improved in almost every way over time. Building the site on the premise that the media misuse data to paint an overly negative picture of development, Marian chats to Gareth about the good that’s happening all around us.
06.03.20 Pt 2 – Vodka is not a hand sanitiser. Toilet paper is like gold at the moment, would you kill for the last roll at a supermarket? Don’t go to Italy, you might never come back. If you live in Modena, champagne may come out of your tap… cheers to that! If somebody tries to kill you, it’s perfectly reasonable to divorce them. South African accents are always a train smash in Hollywood movies – why is Harry Potter trying now? And romance is about looks, that’s all there is to it.